Charming, to be sure!

Doc Chalmers warns of some the nastier elements of ultra-marathon running...

I knew I shouldn’t have tempted fate and had a medicinal tincture last week. The 'Mighty Mariners' are now only 1 point above drop zone and knowing our luck Luton will somehow beat the 30 point deduction and stay in the league. Fair play to them; they deserve it after winning the Johnston’s Paint Trophy and showing promotion form...!

Enough football though, I also have a confession to make that no training was done this weekend - the ultimate shame! Somehow Gary, a fellow triathlete, and I ended up going to London for our joint birthday treat. The treat however involved sending the girlies and kids to a show, paying the train fares, buying all the food and drink and generally being a 'skivvy' by lumping the cases on and off the tube etc. To make it worse, although we got upgraded by the hotel and given complimentary cocktails, the girlies snaffled that as well! Nice one sided birthday present then. (Careful you don't fall into the same trap as Jonathon below...! - Ed)

On a more educational and sensible point we have touched on having a workable plan for fluids/nutrition. To really worry us all, there are worse things than 'bonking' i.e. running out of 'oomph' on the run...

Blisters are trivial and troublesome but soaking your feet in strong tea or pathology specimen fluid, if you can get it, will harden them up nicely. The pathology specimen fluid is superb though slightly tricky to acquire unless you a doctor like me, stinks and may damage carpets/floor so strongly advised to take care and avoid the Mrs when using! While I admire our Spencer I think it might be a bit late in the day for the toughening up trick. And looking at his choice of gear and all it’s rubbing points, he’ll need to soak himself in it! When I did FLM I kept passing 'rhinos', not realising that there were 10 on the course that year and I got a wee bit disorientated!

'Joggers nipple' is no laughing matter either and the tell tale circles of blood on a running top have stopped many before. Even lumps of Vaseline or corn plasters don’t offer 100% protection so train in your gear, and toughen them up!

'Joggers trots' is a charming loss of orifice control and is bad at any time, sober or otherwise and especially true of bottom control. A liberal dose of Imodium may be required/advised prior to racing...

'Hyponatraemia' - While the last 3 have a slightly light hearted element this definitely doesn’t and can be fatal due to central pontine myelinosis. I’ve seen a study that stated 13% of Boston Marathon runners had low serum sodium. I read that it was low but fortunately not low enough to hospitalise. The cause can be excess sweat, excess water consumption or both. Basically the longer you are exercising the more fluid you drink and the greater risk. To make it worse early symptoms can mimic dehydration so the natural inclination is to drink more water and it is more prevalent now there is increased popularity in doing long-distance events. Even doctor’s aren’t immune from it - I know of one doing an Ironman event and she stopped for a toilet break. On leaving the toilet she was so confused and disorientated she didn’t know which direction to run! She finished but “fitted” shortly after finishing and spent 2 days in intensive care. Please be warned!

On that happy, chirpy, positive note, off on the road bike!